I have written different articles about these individual areas before. But I wanted to mention a couple of things that I think people will find absolutely mind blowing.
I began to research some information on neurolinguistic programming aka NLP. One of the biggest things that Tony Robbins has done has been in this area. He talks about people that are visually audibly kinesthetically oriented. Finally he also talks about congruence.
The principal basically goes like this. Everybody relies on specific senses to interpret the world. Some rely on their visual orientation of the world. In other words they see the world and expect everybody else to experience the world primarily through vision and sight like they do.
Next someone will express that they hear the world and express themselves and experience the world through the world of language and auditory skills.
Finally others rely on feelings and they touch and feel the world and express how they feel about situations. They interpret the world through touch.
This is usually pretty easy to identify because you and the way to find out how someone perceives the world is to simply ask somebody what they think about something or a situation and they will respond using one of these three key indicators words: see, hearing, feel.
They may begin their sentence by saying I see that this is happening. Or, they may say something like I hear what you’re saying. Or finally they may say the way I feel about that is XY and Z.
Neurolinguistic communicators suggest that when you hear these cues that basically you switch your speech pattern to mirror how they perceive the world. So if you know that you are speaking with somebody that is visually oriented than you will talk about what you see and how you envision things.
And….so it goes, down the line. You may tell them how you feel about something and how they are feeling
The key is really to just communicate on their particular wavelength.
I have found countless times where I have heard these cues and changed my language to match them. It seems to improve communication and it is amazing how people really identify with these things even though they may miss it on a conscious level.
In order to improve communication even farther, it is highly advisable to mirror the person’s communication that you are experiencing. In other words if they cross their arms cross your arms. If they put their hand on their chin hold your hand to your chin. Obviously you want to have a time lag and then basically you want to hold the position for as long as they hold the position. Switching only after they do.
Don’t think of it as manipulation because it really is not. You’re simply improving the way that you communicate with the other person.
As you hold yourself in the position that they are holding themselves it will encourage them to relax and share more from their hearts. After all sharing from your heart is really what it’s all about. We want to be self expressed and empowered. That only comes when we feel like there’s no hindrance to communication.
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